I haven't blogged in forever. Here's why, the end of the week before last, I was super busy and super stressed and you know what that leads to...bingeing. That's right, I am a fat, worthless, pathetic, disgusting pig. I binged all day Thursday and Friday eating thousands and thousands of calories each day! God, I'm disgusting. I also didn't have dance either of those days, making it even worse. Then, last week, I went on a 7 day vacation with my family and ate EVERYTHING. I probably consumed 5,000 calories each one of those days, partially because I didn't want my family to get suspicious and because for some stupid reason I convinced myself I should try to eat local foods, regardless of their fat/calorie content while I was there. Well news flash fatso, I'm pretty sure consuming 5,000 calories a day isn't local tradition!!!!! God I hate myself. Oh, and wait, there's more! We got back late Saturday night and I woke up the next day to TONS of Easter candy, and I basically ate it all. Surprisingly, I only weighed 110.5 after all that and I have no idea how. I tried to get back to dieting today and it was basically a fail. For breakfast my mom made pancakes so I had to eat them so she wouldn't get nervous. And a whole bunch of other stuff went wrong too.
Breakfast: 1 3/4 Pancake (approx.) - 306 calories
syrup: 3 tablespoons - 157 calories
Lunch: dill pickle slices (6) - 5 calories
cottage cheese (1/2 cup approx.) - 102 calories
That already brings me to 569 calories today, 87 over my new budget, 482 a day and I haven't even eaten dinner yet. I suck.
At the top is another picture of the lovely Alina Somova, whom I will never be like because she is a talented, hardworking ballerina who clearly has some freaking self control unlike me
I don't know if you are still dancing or if you are even alive...but do you realize that your obsession with calorie intake and weight has caused you to have an eating disorder???
ReplyDeleteSome women will never be less than 110lbs and healthy once they reach a certain age. No matter how much you try, you'll end up killing yourself. You need to talk to your dance instructor and your mother about how to keep a dancer's build in a healthy way, or you're going to end up collapsing on stage.
About what I´ve been reading about u´r blog, I´m really worry about your eating habits.
ReplyDeleteI´ve been through a 10-year anorexia hell and I still haven´t so called "clear water".
I also dance ballet and I have noticed it has boosted my anorexia, ´cuz I´m going on a dancing camp where we have to dance not except ballet but also different kinda dances everyday for hours.
I know especially ballerinas have to be really fit, quite skinny but muscular.
But they also eat.
So if u wanna be a ballet dancer, there´s nothin´other way than eat healthy and practice moderately.